What is the length of time between the time you step on a banana
peel and the time you hit the sidewalk called?
(Bananosecond!)
Human one: I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too
interested in making money.
Human two: Why do you say that?
Human one: Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at
night and thinking about your case: $25.00'.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
So is a lot.
-Albert Einstein
Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in an accident?
An ambulance backed up suddenly.
Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they
already know everything.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
When asked "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer answered,
"A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit,
I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing."
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
I'm not 50-something. I'm $49.95, plus shipping and handling.
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an
appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me
sooner."
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